He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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