I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
