CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
