Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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