my phone needs a breathalizer
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
