Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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