dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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