She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
