its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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