I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
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I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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