I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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