put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have aggressive nipples.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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