he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
