my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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