im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this will be a night to untag.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
