im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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