I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
