I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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