if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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