im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
