Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
