is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
