I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it's like iHOP with fire
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
