Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
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