My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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