I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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