oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
