Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
two words...techno handjob
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
