dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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