he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
