I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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