apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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