i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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