Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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