This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
