THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
