Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
