Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
