Can Purell be used as lube?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
