Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
