dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
