Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You dont lie about slip and slides
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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