craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
