dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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