The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So many bounce houses so little time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize