cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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