So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
