Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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