god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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