it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
