The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
