Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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