I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
