Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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