Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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