I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
