Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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