I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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