escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
