If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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