think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
